Sunday, April 29, 2007

Stranded........again

I bet you can't guess what this ones about? Yup, that's right- I locked my keys in my car again. The second time in a two week period. I went to a concert in Park City (Nas, in case you were wondering). About half way through the concert I realized that I had my camera and my wallet and that was all. We grabbed a wire hanger from the coat check girls and attempted to break into my Jeep. I once had a friend who was able to break into it for me with a coat hanger so I didn't think it would be too difficult. Yeah right. The best part was as I was trying to work the wire in through the window a group of girls walked past us. They were pointing at us and talking amongst themselves as if they had just discovered two burglars breaking into someone's car. They hopped in a limo and as I approached the limo to ask the driver for some help, he rolled up his window and drove away. Well, a nice guy named Deep, or Deet, or Deeb, or something like that gave us a ride home. The next day I got a new key made and Jon took me back to Park City to pick up my Jeep. I really think that I must have offended whatever force out in the Universe is in charge of making fortune cookies come true, cuz my fortune cookie has done lost its fortune.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I love sugar


As a missionary in Georgia I learned how to eat grits with butter and salt (yes, it is something that must be learned- it is completely unnatural). This morning I made myself a bowl of grits for breakfast. I put in a spoonful of butter and was about to sprinkle salt on top when something inside of me began to protest. After a few moments of hesitation I reached on top of the fridge, grabbed the bag of sugar, and began pouring sugar into my grits. I know that many of my friends in Georgia would say that I ruined a good bowl of grits. To them I say- that was the best damn bowl of grits I've ever had.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

My good fortune's run out

Last night I locked my keys in my car- on purpose. When I go into work I usually empty my pockets of everything I don't need- cell phone, chapstick, gum, etc. Everything that I can't take into the cells I have to lock up at the check in desk at the front of the jail, so I usually just leave as much in my car as I can. Last night I emptied my pockets the same as usual- cell phone, chapstick, spare change, but then I took out my keys too. I conciously thought to myself- "I don't need these, guess I'll leave 'em in the car"- I locked the door and shut it. I didn't think anything else of it until after work when I took my wallet out of my locker and started walking outside. Suddenly I realized "I don't have my keys!" and I remembered what I had done. Well, since I had locked my phone in my car too, I was unable to call Danny to come rescue me, as I have done in the past- and there were no Chinese restaurants around so I couldn't get any good door opening fortunes like I had done before. (If you are unfamiliar with my Chinese door opening fortune cookie experience, read my post entitled "Why I believe in fortune cookies"). Anyway, I called a locksmith and forked over $45 to get it opened. I guess my good fortune has run out.

Monday, April 16, 2007

My hands are dirty.......


If you want to know what the title of this blog refers to you'll have to ask me in person (I try to keep this at least PG-13). It sums up my recent trip to San Fransisco better than anything else. Last week I went to SF with a group from the U for the National Conference on Undergraduate Research. It was pretty fun. Among other things, I ate Cuban food, went to a presentation on posthumous reproduction, learned about the alligators at the U, and completed my very first sudoku puzzle. Some of us ended up on Market Street one day between 6th and 7th (which I learned is not the nicest part of town). We witnessed a robbery on the street and then some crazy chic with scary dogs made a comment from which the title of this blog is taken. I got the coolest glasses ever- they're blue with blinking lights. Oh, and I got to listen to music with headphones that make you feel like your high. It was awesome.

One Love


Last Monday was Dawn's Birthday and Ryan and I went to the Stephen Marley concert with her at Club Suede in Park City. At one point, before the show started some enormous Polynesian fellas were being a little frivolous. One of the guys grabbed me and gave me the biggest bear hug I think I've ever had. I was completely helpless and I even thought that he might squeeze me to death on accident. He reached his head around to my ear and in slurred speech said "I don't judge a book by its cover- and I know your white- but I love you, man. When I look at you all I see is love." His mouth was so close to my ear that I could feel his lips. I don't think I've ever been the subject of so much public affection. It was kind of nice. While this guy was telling me how much he loved me, his friend was getting a kick out of yelling "Harry Potter!" and pointing at me. I guess I look like Harry Potter- I don't know. A little later, some lady confessed to grabbing my but- which I was totally unaware of. She said it was nice and firm-I guess that's good. She was holding some guys hand, so it was really awkward. Apparently he didn't care if his girl was checking out other guys. Well, we had a good time.